Title: Shedding Some Light
Summary: Kazuo meets Fumiko again, this time in Junes. And this time she’s a little more forthcoming about her own gifts. And his, too!
Who: Fumiko Kohaku, Kazuo Yuudai
Location: Inaba—Junes Dept. Store
Every day is great at your Junes! o/~ This jingle is one reason why Junes is so prominent within Inaba. Just one store in a major department store chain, Junes offers many different products at unbeatable prices, from simple groceries to comfortable furniture and even an expansive electronics department, the latter of which has been proven very popular by some of the teenage crowd lately.
The department store is so massive that the elevator is the preferred method in which to go anywhere around the place, with different floors for different departments within it. Although the goods are varied enough that each may as well be their own store, at least several things are constant: the bright and cheery colors, the frequent announcement of some special deal or another going on, and most importantly, the endless looping elevator music of the theme song that can even rival Satomi Tadashi's for sheer catchiness.
Customer Appreciation Day is said to be every day at Junes, but this sure doesn't seem to show with the majority of its employees... especially the part-timers. Lazy, rude, and prone to complaining about their salary, they are not pleasant people. Even so, that hasn't been enough to drive the customers away.
It’s mid-afternoon—usually, too early for any teenagers to be out and roaming the streets, but Saturdays are half-days. Curiously, Fumiko is one of those currently roaming the streets of Inaba—or at least, the aisles of Inaba’s Junes. It’s warm inside, after all, and she can at least pretend to have some sort of purpose in being in the store.
Currently, she’s wandering through the electronics section, studying the latest PDAs and cell phones available. She’s wrapped up well—it is cold out there, but does she really need the scarf? Or is it just a fashion accessory? Fumiko doesn’t look like she’s feeling well, though—there’s a certain degree of slow movement and holding herself carefully that would suggest, to the eye of someone who’s been there, that she’s suffering the after-effects of having been on the losing end of a fight recently.
But when would a loli get into a fight about anything?
Kazuo is, amazingly, without his fanclub today. But he’s not in his customary leather jacket that he wears when he’s not in school. He’s in his school uniform, and still carrying his attaché case. Looks like he came straight here from school, for whatever reason. He is walking with purpose, like he’s going somewhere in particular. Not in a hurry, but with a definite direction.
However, as he passes by where Fumiko is looking at the electronics, he pauses. Not only because he sees her there, but because he senses that familiar ‘off’ sensation again. It’s actually that which draws his attention to Fumiko. He looks to her, and blinks. “Oh…hello there,” he offers. And he’s probably had enough injuries from fighting that he might notice she’s hurt…but not until she turns to look at him, likely….
She doesn’t turn quickly; she’s too sore to do so. But Fumiko looks up when she senses Kaz’s Resonance. She’d forgotten how many Persona users Inaba seems to have. There aren’t any visible bruises that Kazuo could point at and go ‘yep, she’s been fighting’—Persona users have some uncanny healing powers, and they’re all surprisingly resilient. He’s probably noticed the second part already.
“Hi,” her voice is different too—scratchier, rougher. It could just be a cold—it’d explain the scarf wrapped so tightly around Fumiko’s throat, if it’s not just an accessory or for the weather. “…Yuudai-san, right? Nice to see you again.”
Whether he notes something off about her manner or not, Kazuo doesn’t mention it or make any indication that he’s noticed. He might have just put her odd manner down to just being her. Or perhaps her talk of being disliked, and the little she spoke of her ‘family’ made him believe she was just a weird girl.
Either way, when Fumiko asks his name, he nods, with a half-smile. “That’s right. Good to see you again.” Pause. “…Fumiko-san, was it?” he inquires. She doesn’t look like she’s coming out of school, and he is. So that means there’s a chance that she’s older than he is, even if she might not look it. So…respect!
Actually, Fumiko looks like she’s younger than Kazuo, if anything. Perhaps she just doesn’t like wearing school uniforms outside of school hours. She smiles back, “Fumiko-chan, yes.” She’s still holding herself in that too-careful way, trying to avoid aggravating sore ribs. “Looking at the cell phones? I’m not sure it’s time to upgrade mine yet—it seems like I only just got it, you know?”
She shrugs, trying to cover a wince as the movement pulls at sore muscles that don’t want to move that way. “But there’s so many issues if you don’t upgrade in time, too.” The darkness that he sensed last time is still there—deeper, now, and thicker.
Kazuo nods as Fumiko suggests the way she’d rather be referred to. “Fumiko-chan,” he confirms, with a nod, and a small smile. He might quirk a brow at the way she’s holding herself. But he still doesn’t mention it. None of his business unless she looks like she’s seriously hurt, or if she brings it up first.
“Hn,” he grunts as she mentions the problem with phones. “Well…I don’t know if it’s any connection, but I hear that when you buy a computer it’s already obsolete by about six months. I don’t know what the point is in staying up to date if you can’t without special access to company products beforehand….”
“Prestige, I guess?” Fumiko guesses. “Being able to say you had it earliest and all that?” Another shrug and another wince. “Seems kind of silly to me—but I guess it isn’t all that different from wanting the latest manga, or collecting Pokemon cards. It’s not even that much more expensive, in some cases.”
She looks at the phones for a moment, considering her next words carefully. “I guess a lot of things might seem silly, though, if you aren’t interested in them. Like that old kiddie game…what was it called? You know, the one everyone said you’d get powers from, if you did it right?”
“True enough, I guess,” Kazuo returns, shrugging his shoulders as well. “All seems like a big overcompensation deal to me. I mean…who cares if your phone, or computer, or whatever, is the very latest technology? As long as it works, it outta be enough.”
There’s a tensing of his upper body as Fumiko mentions ‘that old kiddie game’. And she might sense a panicked spiking of his Resonance. But he doesn’t make any other mention, and he seems to be able to hide his reaction reasonably well. “Hn…the ‘Persona Game’?” he inquires. “Something like that? Yeah, I’ve…heard of it.” His tone’s a bit off, but he doesn’t make other other reaction to her mention.
Hmm, panic? Now that’s…interesting. Fumiko blinks at Kazuo—she might not think much of his reaction if she couldn’t sense his Resonance. “Yes, that was it, I think.” A cheerful smile and deliberately light tone, “I think most people have heard of it—probably about half of my class tried it once or twice, just to see if it’d work. I mean, who wouldn’t want super-powers? You’d be like someone out of a manga.”
She fiddles with her scarf, tightening it a little, “None of them ever said if it worked, though. But…who’d really want to be that different? And what if one person got a Persona and the others didn’t?” Fiddle fiddle fiddle. “I always thought, though…I mean, if it worked…there’d have to be a way to tell if it worked. A way to tell if you were the only one around with a Persona or not. A way to tell who else has one. If it really worked. Wouldn’t you think so?”
She’s trying to be careful not to scare him off—he’s really interesting now, and not just because he’s an unknown Persona user. And a passerby who isn’t in the know would probably think she’s just idly speculating about childhood games. Nothing too weird, right?
Kazuo offers a soft snort of laughter at the ‘someone out of a manga’, closing his eyes briefly. “And then you’d have the same problems, I expect—trying to balance your real life with the supernatural one,” he states. His tone is deliberately dull. “Nothing’s ever free….particularly something that makes you stronger than everyone else. There’s always a price to be paid….”
He doesn’t seem to be reading any more into the conversation than that. However, his Resonance seems to simmer and seethe, like flames being held back. It’s not anger, no. And he seems to be physically holding himself with his back rather rigidly-set for someone who’s just engaging in casual conversation with someone else. However his response is flippant. “I wouldn’t know,” he responds blandly. “It’s just a silly kids’ game, as far as I know.”
“There’s always a price,” Fumiko agrees. “But maybe it’d be worth it. I mean…there’d have to be some benefits, right? And it’s not like being stronger or more resilient is a bad thing, or something that would make you a bad person. It’s just a thing. Like hair colour.” Hmm. How would she know that someone with a Persona is more durable?
She looks back at Kaz just as blandly, “I suppose it is. I mean, it probably wouldn’t work for most people anyways. …that’s how it works in the stories and in manga, right? There has to be something special about the people it does work for.”
“Maybe not,” Kazuo agrees. “But it would probably do other things to you…things that weren’t that great. And besides, if anybody found out you had powers, they’d think you were a freak, and avoid you. You’d lose all your friends.” A measured pause. “That is…you know, if that game worked.” Yeah, speaking purely theoretically here….
Shrug. “Special? People are…people, right?” he notes. “I mean…what about someone would make them ‘special’ enough for something like that too work for, when it doesn’t work for others?”
“Maybe,” Fumiko agrees. “But maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe it’d turn out that you weren’t the only one with powers. Maybe your friends would think it was really cool, and maybe there’d be people you could talk to about it.” A pause and she continues the illusion that they’re just talking theoretically, “You know, if it worked.”
An answering shrug, “Probably nothing much more than, oh, the same thing that makes someone have red hair instead of black or brown. Or green eyes, instead of brown. Just a quirk of genetics.” A small smile, “A supernatural quirk, granted—if it worked that way—but…not something that’d make them any better or worse than everyone else.”
“Hn.” It’s a simple response to the not-so simple answer of a simple question. But those are always the questions that have the most complicated answers, aren’t they? “Would be hard to tell who’d react badly to it and who wouldn’t, though. So you have to be really careful who you told….”
Despite his words, he does look like he’s giving the question some serious thought, at least. After a moment, he begins. “Well…let’s pretend for a minute…and say this kids’ game did work the way people say it does. How would somebody it did work on go about finding out who’s safe to talk to about it and who isn’t?”
“True. And you’d have to be careful not to talk too obviously about it around people who don’t already know, so that it doesn’t sound like you’re crazy,” Fumiko smiles. “But there’d probably be some people you could tell.”
A nod as Kaz decides to ‘humor’ her. “Well, at a guess, they might be able to sense other people’s Personas. So they might be able to just tell that there’s something different about some people.” A sweet smile, “And I’m still guessing here…but if someone seemed different—a little weird maybe—and started talking about the game and making guesses about whether or not it really works…and if they sounded like they know more than they’re telling. Well. They’d probably be safe to talk to, right? It’s not like they’d be particularly shocked if you told them. And heck, they might even have a Persona too. And maybe they could introduce you to other people who have one.”
Kazuo is careful not to reveal too much, either in words or in deed. He listens to Fumiko’s words, though…and he seems to be mulling them over pretty well. “‘Sense’ them, huh?” he murmurs, almost under his breath. Louder, though only by a little, he notes. “So…if this game did work…and someone got powers from it…they couldn’t really hide it from others it had worked for…? And they’d feel…inexplicably drawn to each other? Without really any reason to feel that way…?”
Now he understood. At least, if that’s how it really worked. That had happened often enough in the past week or so that he was beginning to question his own sanity. Perhaps his ‘Persona’, if that was indeed what it was called, was trying to choose people for something. And that was how it let him know it had chosen. Now he understood what it was. Those people—the ones that had smelled oddly, or that he’d heard strange noises around, or plain felt just weird around—they had the same…issues he did, didn’t they?
And more than that, this little loli-girl here? It sounded like she was having the same issues. Somehow that seemed to hit him truer than anything in the conversation thus far. That and…she knew others who had these same issues. Besides her, and besides him.
Part of him wants to ask her to meet these people immediately…and then the rational part intrudes. People are people, Personas or not. And people could be good or bad. What if it was a situation like the Yakuza…once you’re in you don’t get out? He didn’t want to be embroiled in something like that….
His silence would likely be noticed, as he mulled all this over in his head for a long moment….
A soft ‘hmm’. “Well, I dunno about drawn—but it would be awfully hard to hide, yes. Probably not completely impossible…but quite difficult.” After all, Fumiko knows that Seiichi’s Resonance sometimes shifts quite drastically. So it’s not implausible that one could hide their Resonance entirely.
She waits while Kazuo works through this new information, not wanting to rush him—after all, she’s got all day—but as the silence draws out, she can’t help but prod a little. “So…did you ever play the game?” A relatively harmless question—after all, to anyone else, it’s just a children’s game. Most kids probably played it once or twice.
The gentle verbal prod does break Kazuo from his reverie, and he blinks when she asks him the question. “What?” Blink-blink. “Oh…yes, I did. Couple years ago, when I was fifteen. Was Tezuka-san’s idea.” Referencing the glasses-wearing kid that is often with him. “The three of us played it, and it devolved into laughter.”
Of course, as he speaks this…one might notice that the normal jovial ‘haha, that was such a silly thing’ tone is absent from his voice. In fact, he seems quite serious and deadpan….
Fumiko nods, “And I’m guessing that a while later, you got into some kind of situation where you would have died without some…help?” SEBEC might be evil—or at least, morally corrupt—but there are benefits: they know more about what’s going on, with Personas, than most others do.
She’s still casual—not flippant, but neither surprised nor considering it negative. The game is a thing and she’s aware of it. After a moment, she adds, “We can talk about it somewhere else, if you’d like.”
Kazuo confirms her supicions with a nod. “One of the gangs. Decided they’d make an example of me with a beatdown,” he offers simply. Fumiko can probably guess how things went from there—his Persona likely manifested. And likely scared the pants off the gang in question.
Of course, Fumiko not being from Inaba, she may or may not know much about his reputation as an up-and-coming badass. It’s only very small rep currently…he has little use for such things, so he doesn’t bother cultivating it. But he does keep a tough image, if only to protect Jirou and Naoki from those who would take advantage of them.
And the offer to talk about it somewhere else? Somewhere they don’t have to speak in hypothetical terms, skip the BS, and really talk about what’s going on? Kazuo jumps on that like white on rice. He really has only one thing to say in response. A question.
“Where?”
A shrug from Fumiko, “I dunno—I’m not from around here. You’ve probably guessed that. So I don’t really know where the best place to go and talk without people overhearing us might be. Do you have any ideas?” She knows nothing about his reputation—she doesn’t really keep up on things in Inaba, if it doesn’t seem important.
Kazuo can probably think of a few places that would work—although most of them are going to be awfully cold, this time of year. That might cut down on potential eavesdroppers, though—especially out by the river. Asides from the most dedicated fishermen, most people avoid the waterside as the temperatures drop.
Kazuo nods, and gives the matter a moment of thought. And indeed, that is the first place he can think of. “It’ll be really cold…but the only places I can think of are on the roof, or beside the river,” he comments. “This time of year, people would probably be avoiding both places because of the cold.” Indeed, aside from the few devoted, die-hard fisherman to whom the feeling of a life on the end of their line is a religion, no one would be near the river. The breezes off the cold water would only add to the unpleasant cold.
“Then again…as odd as it sounds?” Kazuo ventures. “The food court is pretty loud. There’d be enough background noise from the customers chattering and all that it would cover up a conversation. So if you’re not eager to go out in the cold, that could work, too….”
“…The food court works,” Fumiko agrees. It’s certainly going to be warmer than the riverside. Plus, they can get a cup of tea or something to warm themselves up and something to snack on while they talk. If they want to endure the Junes food court food, anyways; the stuff isn’t exactly the stuff food critics rave about.
“Shall we go then? I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions,” Fumiko suggests. She waits to see if Kaz will follow, and then starts making her way up to the food court. This is probably going to be a long conversation.
Kazuo is a high school kid; cast-iron stomachs sort of come with the territory, given the sheer amount of junk food most of them consume. He likely gulps down stuff like they serve at the Junes Food Court on a daily basis. And he lives here in Inaba, so he’s probably accustomed to it.
At Fumiko’s invitation, Kazuo nods, and follows her to the Food Court. He has a sense that it’s going to at least be an…’interesting’ conversation, whatever happens. He has no idea where it’s going to go, what he’s going to find out…and some part of him really doesn’t want to know.
A part of him could just pretend it all wasn’t happening if he was the only one with this ‘problem’. Or that he was just slowly going crazy. But knowing there are others? That sort of makes it all impossible to ignore. However, he steels himself, and squares his shoulders—mentally as well as figuratively—and follows Fumiko to the Food Court….
Junes—Food Court
Situated upon the roof of Junes, the Food Court is billed as a place to relax and have an affordable (read: absolutely disgusting) snack or two. A popular hangout place all the same, it’s easy to find crowds sitting around tables or children playing in the small playground in the center at nearly all times of the day.
Innumerable food stalls are set around the perimeter, with ample space given in consideration to line sizes that are more wishful thinking than matching the actual demand for refreshments. Bad weather is only kept at bay by strategically placed umbrellas and awnings around the court. From large wooden benches you’d see in parks to smaller, classier round tables outside cafes, the seating is wildly varied as the food offered (the quality of said food, sadly, not varying any from being disgusting).
Due to speakers blaring the commercial jingle nonstop, it can be hard to eavesdrop on conversations without coming very cloe to a group. This makes it a great place for a secret headquarters between collaborators. In turn, it is a terrible place to study for upcoming exams or what have you.
Once in the Food Court, Fumiko doesn’t immediately go to get a table. It’s not that there aren’t any tables open—it’s that she’d rather get a hot drink and a bite to eat, first. Only after these are acquired, with Fumi picking the least gross and greasy item on the menu, does she sit down at a table that’s away from anyone who could be close enough to hear their conversation over the music.
“So—what do you want to know, first?”
Kazuo does the same, though his food choices might be a little less…sophisticated. If one can make ‘sophisticated’ food choices in the Junes Food Court, that is. But at least it doesn’t look too bad. He also follows her lead on where to sit, too. Notably he chooses a seat that has his back against the wall, so no one can walk behind him.
Her question brings things into perspective. And he realizes that all those questions he had are probably about to be answered. “Hmm….” He has to think a moment, during which time he preps the food for eating. Probably involving lots of ketchup and/or other sauces. Gotta garnish, after all.
“Honestly?” he finally replies. “I’m not sure. It’s been something that’s…well, I’ve gotten so used to it I don’t ask questions. And it’s just…I’m…I don’t….” He trails off, trying to think of how best to say it. He really doesn’t want to admit to being afraid….
“Mm, yeah. Most of us tend to not ask a whole lot of questions,” Fumiko sympathizes. “It’s easier that way, I guess. And sometimes, you can’t exactly stop and go ‘okay, why does this work the way it does’ because you’re in the middle of trying not to die, or because you don’t want to think about it. Or sometimes, ‘cause it’d stop working if you did think about it too hard.”
A shrug and Fumiko adds fixings to her tea and soup. “So…how about I tell you the stuff I know, and you chime in whenever you’ve got something you want more explanation about, ‘kay?”
Kazuo suddenly finds the table fascinating. “…Yeah.” He especially seems to have a reaction, however slight, to the words ‘don’t want to think about it’. It’s a reaction that’s sensed mainly through his Resonance, truth be told, the ever so slight spike of something akin to panic.
However, as Fumiko makes the offer, he nods and looks up again, meeting her gaze. “That…might be the best way to do this,” he states. He has so many question that he doesn’t know where to start, really. Perhaps if he just hears the basics, some of those questions will be answered.
She can sense the reaction, even if it’s harder to notice in his body language, and Fumiko reaches over to gently pat Kazuo’s shoulder comfortingly if he’ll let her. She picks up her tea and blows on it gently to cool it off before sipping at it afterwards, whether or not he lets her. “Mm, where to start?”
“Well…first of all, the game isn’t the only way to get a Persona. There’s a couple of other ways, and you can even get an artificial one if you don’t have any Potential. But that’s still pretty experimental, and they’re kind of unstable at the best of times. Asides from that, though, the other ways pretty much have this in common: a person who gets the power of a Persona has to have the genetic potential to unlock one, and they have to go through some sort of danger that’s so serious that if their Persona didn’t come out to play, they’d die. Just about all of us that I’ve met or heard about have some issues too, but I don’t know if that’s also a requirement or if it’s just one of those things.”
The pat on the shoulder actually seems to help Kazuo calm somewhat, and he offers a bit of a half-smile. He draws in a steadying breath, exhaling it in a sigh of something like relief, and waits for her to begin her explanation.
He listens, taking it all in, finding it fascinating. If a little—okay, a lot—confusing. Artificial Personae? Genetic potential? Did that mean he wasn’t normal physically, either?
However, he blinks as Fumiko pauses, his mind hanging on the latter comment. “…’Issues’?” he inquires. “What kind of ‘issues’?” He was pretty normal, so far as he knew…mentally and physically both. So what made him diffierent, that he’d have potential?
“Usually family issues of some kind or another,” Fumiko explains. “I don’t think it’s got anything to do with things, but it does seem to be a theme. It doesn’t have anyting to do with the Potential, anyways—that’s in your genes, like your hair colour.” A shrug and she sips at her tea, “I wouldn’t worry about it, really.”
She pokes at her soup, “So—there’s probably other things you want to know, right?”
Kazuo seems relieved. “I’m glad,” he admits. “I was afraid it was something that was going to eventually run me crazy. I mean…I’m pretty sane as far as I know…but then again, it’s always hardest to tell when you’re the one slipping, isn’t it?”
A pause, and Fumiko’s question reaches him. “I…yeah. What I want to know is…well, they’re probably the easiest questions to ask…and the hardest ones to answer. But…what is it? Why is it? Does that make any sense?”
“Well…it doesn’t mean you’re crazy,” Fumiko reassures Kaz. “I mean, some of us are crazy, but it’s not because of the Persona necessarily.” Sip of tea, to keep from getting cold. “What a Persona is is easier for me to answer than why it is—I don’t really know why it is. I dunno if anyone does. But a Persona’s part of your subconcious, part of you. It’s only ever going to do what you want. But…well, there are some drawbacks.”
Kazuo notes Fumiko’s wording—’some of us are crazy’. Does she mean people with these…Personae? Or is she including herself in the handful that are crazy? Right now, he doesn’t want to find out. This would be a…bad time to find out. Too many innocent people around, and he didn’t want to have to call attention to himself in a battle that would be too weird to discount.
Little does Kazuo know that Fumiko’s in no shape to attack him….
Blink. A part of him? Kazuo frowns. “You mean it’s not…well, a daemon1 that’s in my head?” Notably, the Japanese word Kazuo uses here would be closer to ‘spiritual entity’ than ‘evil entity’. “Somehow that actually makes less sense,” he continues, shaking his head.
Dawbacks? Oh yeah…Kazuo can think of a few right off the top of his head. Nonetheless, he inquires, “What kind of drawbacks?” Maybe she knows of a few he hasn’t thought of….
Fumiko’s in rough shape, certainly—but she’s not exactly helpless. Just very, very sore and in no mood to fight unless she has to.
And although Fumi would deny it all day long, she’s not exactly the poster girl for sanity. Not when she’s got Hecate whispering in her ears.
“Not…exactly, no. It’s a manifestation of your subconcious. Not something that’s riding you or possessing you, or whatever.” Fumiko fiddles with her right sidelock as he asks about the drawbacks. “Well…you know how when you’re bottling stuff up, you might have some really weird thoughts or dreams? Take those weird thoughts and dreams, then add in supernatural powers. And if you’re in denial about something—especially something major—your Persona’s gonna start to get…squirrely. If things get really bad, it might become a Shadow. At which point it’ll usually try to either kill you or take over—if it wins, you’ll end up Shadow Possessed.”
She takes a couple mouthfuls of soup, using the time to think of how to explain Shadow Possession. “Shadow Possession is…mm. You lose your inhibitions. You’re still you, pretty much, just…willing to do the things that you were denying yourself.” Which sounds like it might be a good thing. But there’s probably a reason why she’s listing it as a drawback.
Kazuo doesn’t seem to be eager to give Fumiko a reason to attack him, either. He seems pretty content for the time being to listen and take mental notes about the situation. One would think that he’d be relieved when Fumiko notes that it’s not something that’s possessing or ‘riding’ him, as she put it. But he isn’t. In fact, he tenses all the more, realizing finally that…this thing that’s in his head is something that he’s created. Somehow. And he’s kinda stuck with it….
And that frown only deepens as she explains some of the drawbacks. Extreme denial? He’s never denied his mother’s death was his fault…and really that’s the only thing he could think of in his own life that might give rise to any feelings of denial. Still, from the sounds of it, he’d have to be careful.
Another blink at the mention of Shadow-Possession. “Hn. Like…an inability to resist impulses?” he inquires. “I think I remember reading something that an early psychiatrist wrote about that…it’s starting to sound like that…id…thing. I don’t remember it too well….”
Well, it’s one thing to blame the Persona if it acts up. But it’s harder to blame it when you realize that it’s part of yourself, isn’t it?
“Kind of, yeah,” Fumiko explains. “It’s not so much that you can’t as it is that you don’t see any reason not to. Which can be kind of awesome if you want to kiss someone. But, uh, if you really really hate someone instead? …yeah, I think you can see where that’s going.”
A shrug at the mention of one of the early psychiatrists. “Probably.” She rubs at the bridge of her nose, “What else…right. You probably already know that the whole supernatural world is a thing, but…yeah. It’s a thing. Demons and magic are real, Shadows are real, and you really don’t want to go down into the mines here without taking some supplies with you.”
Which is likely what Kazuo’s experiencing now. The realization that, if this Persona of his does do something reprehensible, it’s only because somewhere deep down he had allowed it. That he had wanted it to happen. That definitely puts a whole new spin on things….
He nods as she mentions the problems with not seeing any reason to deny one’s impulses. “Oh…I can definitely see the problems that could cause. Even in the former case. Supposing the one you want to kiss doesn’t want to kiss you?” It can lead to said impulsive person getting mad, and…well, yeah. Bad Things (tm).
And then he blinks at the mention of the mines. “Well, I never go down there anyway. Could fall down an open mineshaft and hurt myself, the roof could collapse, I could get lost….” Yeah, plenty of non-supernatural reasons to not go down there. As well as, apparently, several supernatural ones. “Besides, the entrance is gone anyway.”
“Just the main entrance,” Fumiko murmurs. “There’s at least half a dozen side entrances—and those are just the ones I can think of that you could access from here, assuming you aren’t counting just jumping down through the sinkhole. But…yeah, you don’t wanna go down there, especially not right now. You really don’t. You don’t want to get lost down there, either.” She seems relieved to hear that Kazuo isn’t in the habit of going down into the mines.
“So—now you’ve got some information, at least. What more do you want to know?”
“Jumping down a sinkhole?” Kazuo echoes, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. “…That seems like it’s a really stupid thing to do. No offense if you have. I mean, you could break…lots of things doing that. Lots of things that should stay intact.” A smirk. “And if you can’t run away, whatever’s down there will get you.” So yeah, Kazuo has no intentions of going down there.
“Hmm….” He thinks a moment, when she asks if he wants to know anything else. “What…do they do? I mean…besides scare the Hell out of people that are about to render a permanent lights-out?” he inquires, a bit of mirth entering his tone. He’s probably never had any real call to use his Persona very often, so apart from ‘don’t come out and eat people, dammit’, he probably doesn’t know much about his….
“It varies a bit,” Fumiko shrugs. “Some focus on elemental attacks, like fire or ice. Others are best at healing injuries rather than causing them. Some can do poisons, or make it harder for your opponent to use magic or make them exhausted. And some do just physical attacks. But they’ve all got strengths and weaknesses.”
A few bites of soup. “Some of them make you stronger, or better at magic—more…able…to do magic is more accurate, actually. Or faster on your feet, or more durable. But there’s usually a trade-off. It’s not like you’re stuck with just using whoever you first got, though. You do have other options.”
Kazuo listens to the explanation. “So…it depends on the individual?” he inquires. “Does that mean that the person also has those abilities? Or…only when they…call it?” By ‘it’, he of course means the Persona.
And then something else catches his attention. “What do you mean ‘other options’? I mean…a person’s psyche doesn’t fracture more and have more of these…Persona things ending up in his head, does it?” He seems concerned over this…
“Mostly only when they call it,” Fumiko says. “Some folks have an affinity with whatever their main Persona’s element is—my brother’s really good with fire, for example—but most people can’t, say, call fireballs just for the heck of it without their Persona being around.” Although Tatsuya’s the exception. “But it’s not all that weird for it to happen.”
She raises an eyebrow, “Your psyche’s not fractured just because you’ve got a Persona. It’s more…okay, imagine a giant ocean. All the fish? Those are Personas. Now, the Persona you first get, that’s the one you’ll always have and it’s the one you’ll work best with. But it’s not the only one you can work with.”
Kazuo doesn’t seem to pick up much more than what Fumiko says, especially not about her brother. Then again, what she’s telling him is a lot to take in, so his mental facilities are elsewhere currently. “Hmm…how do you find this out, what the Persona’s capable of?” Kazuo inquires, as Fumiko explains a little about abilities, elemental affiliation, and things of that nature. “Without having to suddenly find out while something’s trying to kill you, that is….”
Kazuo seems to be relatively placated by hearing that his psyche’s not going to fracture into a thousand shards because he has one of these Persona things. “Oh. Well…where do they come from, though? If they’re part of me then they have to come from somewhere, right?”
“Well, you can always practice a little,” Fumiko suggests. “Like with martial arts, you know?” She shrugs in response to the question of where Personas come from, “…I’m not sure, to be honest. Most Personas follow myths and legends. Ideas. So logic would suggest that there’s a whole pool of ideas out there that everyone can tap into. But I don’t have anything I can use to prove it, not for certain.”5r She sips at her tea, waiting to see what Kazuo’s next question will be.
“Oh, I see…the ‘collective unconsciousness’ theory?” Kazuo inquires. He seems like he knows what he’s talking about. Though maybe not much more than the basics of that theory. “That makes sense, I guess….” It’s a good enough answer, since it’s hard to put into words exactly what he was trying to ask.
His next question…is not a question. “This is…a lot to take in,” he observes quietly. “I’m…I don’t know. I guess I just thought that…I was crazy. And it was easier to just convince myself I was just imagining it, or losing my mind, if it was just me….” It goes without saying that he can’t really believe that now….
“Pretty much,” Fumiko agrees. A quiet nod, “It’d be easier to believe you were crazy, wouldn’t it? Or that you’re just imagining it all. But that’s not true. And sooner or later, you’d have run into someone else who can sense Resonance. And some of the others…well, they’d probably give you the ‘you have this amazing gift, you should use it to fight the good fight and keep the world the way it is.”
From the sounds of it, Fumiko disagrees with the whole ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ idea. Or, perhaps, she just disagrees with what those responsibilities are.
“Some of us think that since we’ve got these powers, we can and should use them to make the world better without just going ‘oh, the supernatural and the mundane should never mix’ and trying to unring a bell,” the loli says mildly. “The two groups tend to disagree on…actually I can’t think of much we agree on.”
Kazuo nods slowly. Ah, now they’re getting into the real dangers of having these ‘gifts’. If they can be called that. In the end, the real danger comes not from the abilities themselves. But from the ones who have the abilities, who gather like-minded people around them, and try to push their view off on the others who do. And don’t take kindly to others who don’t share their worldview.
“Nnf.” It’s a grunt of disdain. However, his tone is pretty even as he speaks the next. “That’s to be expected. Even when the supernatural’s involved, as long as people are involved, those people always manage to embroil others in their own squabbles, and kill each other when they should be working together. Politics. I hate politics.” He shakes his head.
Then he sighs. “Well…I guess that’s another tradeoff you have to make—surround yourself with like-minded individuals, and in return for the feeling of not being completely alone, you have to give them your undying loyalty.” He waves a hand. “I’m not in for that, I’m sorry. I know ‘groups’ tend to ‘recruit’ but, I’m not really a ‘team member’ kind of guy.”
A reassuring handwave—or at least, one intended to be reassuring, “I’m not gonna try and recruit you. I won’t deny I think it’d be cool if you did join…but you’d just get all resentful and rebellious eventually, if you were forced. So I won’t give you the ‘we’re better, these are our goals, this is why you should join us’ speech. I’m not really good at speeches, anyways; onii-sama’s better at that sort of thing, anyways.”
Fumiko shrugs, “I can introduce you to my family, if you’d like. You’d get the chance to meet people who won’t push you into joining their side, and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be the only one who’d be happy to help you get some practice in with using your Persona.”
Kazuo seems pleased with the response, and his frown eases somewhat, to let a small smile show through. “You’re right, though you might have replaced ‘eventually’ with ‘really fast’,” he replies with a chuckle. It’s clear he’s at least partially teasing, though. In truth, he wouldn’t have let himself be ‘forced’ into joining something like that. It would be far too important a decision to be forced into.
As for the offer? He seems a little hesitant, but with the assurance that no promise of signing up will be assumed if he accept, he nods. And he also voices his concern, “As long as it doesn’t automatically mean that I’ll have to sign up if I meet them. I don’t want to see family secrets that I have to take to my grave.”
Fumiko waves off those concerns, “Trust me—I know better than to tell you or show you anything I’m not allowed to. And we won’t press-gang you. We’ve got great benefits packages, but forced labor just doesn’t work, you know?” A shrug, “Besides, we’ve got enough to worry about without making trouble like that for ourselves.”
Kazuo nods. “That’s good. I feel less intimidated now,” he replies. Groups were always intimidating. Particularly a group that every last one of them has not only the same abilities—or similar to—but more experience in using said abilities. Never a good thing to get in that kind of situation if they decide they don’t like you all of a sudden….
It’s a pity that Tatsuya Sudou is a man of variable moods, then, and quite intimidating all on his own. But Kazuo will discover that for himself readily enough if—more likely when—he gets the chance to meet Fumiko’s beloved onii-sama.
Fumi smiles at Kaz, “No reason you should be intimidated. Like I said, we don’t do the whole press-gang thing. It’s just stupid, you know?”
There will probably be more revelations for Kazuo as well in the time soon to come. And a lot of questions that he’s been asking himself—or trying not to ask himself, as the case may be—have been answered. For now, his mind’s pretty full with stuff he needs to think about.
“Thanks you. I appreciate…all this. All the questions I asked,” Kazuo replies honestly. “I’m sure they were kind of…stupid ones, in retrospect. Or ones you’ve had to answer for lots of people. I appreciate you being patient with me.” He smiles, a small smile, but an honest one.
A cheerfully sweet smile in return, “Nah, they weren’t stupid questions. Heck, they were better than the questions I had when I first found out.” Fumiko finishes her soup, setting the spoon in the bowl. “I mean, you didn’t ask if they can eat ice cream or anything.” A shrug, “Besides, it’s better that you ask the questions than not find out stuff that’s going to be important, right?”
There’s a chirping sound that signals an incoming text to Fumiko’s phone and she pulls it out to check it before stuffing it back into her bag. Fumiko smiles apologetically, “Sorry, but I need to get back home. Onii-sama…has things he wants to talk to me about and it’ll just make him angrier if I’m late.”
She stands and prepares to bus her tray, “It was nice talking to you, though—and if you think of any questions between now and whenever I’m back in Inaba, you’ve got my phone number, right? Feel free to send me a text or to call me.”
Kazuo snickers at the mention of a Persona eating ice cream. The mental image is quite humorous—he can inagine the big, giant armored form of his own, with a little sugar cone in its hand, happily lapping at a scoop of vanilla ice cream that’s perched atop it. In fact, the mental image is so funny that Kazuo has to purse his lips to keep from laughing aloud!
However, he doesn’t share this mental image, because he doesn’t want to seem completely silly. He passes it off instead as prompted by her words. “Heh…that’s funny,” he chuckles quietly. “But yeah…you have a point. I got those questions out of the way, so that’s fewer questions that someone else will have to answer.”
He nods as she mentions her need to go. “Ah, I understand,” he states, standing as well. “Thanks again for helping me with all this. And yeah…I have your number still. I’ll text you mine too, so you can call me when you want this meeting to happen.” A smile. “See you later, Fumiko-chan!” A smile, and then he goes to put up his tray, too.
He’ll offer to walk her out, too. And probably to the bus, too. But as before, he won’t get on the bus with her, so she won’t feel awkward if he knows her stop….
1: Kazuo’s player chose “daemon” because the Japanese word he used would have been closer to “spiritual entity” than “evil entity”. The negative connotation that changed “daemon” into “demon” didn’t come about until the advent of Christianity. And in Japan there are far more non-Christians in the country. Also, the Japanese have about fifty different words for everything, each of which have a different connotation. English doesn’t have that, thus the different spelling and notation here.
PersonaMUSH Wiki: Kazuo Yuudai
Back to the Log Index